Up to the Minute Tracking of the Most Important Past, Present and Future Events in the Life of Isaac©
(While we're on the subject of the "future," it should be mentioned that travel is, indeed, possible. I don't mean to change the subject, but I felt it needed to be said. It is all thanks to a little phenomenon called the Casimir Effect, which utilizes vast curvatures in space-time, through which we will one day construct wormholes and travel through time so that we can kill our own grandparents, thus negating our entire existence. Seriously, though, it works. All we need to do is build a giant cylinder and get it spinning fast enough so that its energy warps space and time around it into a giant whirlpool. It doesn't get much simpler than that)
Isaac was laid off a couple weeks ago, though retains no feelings of bitterness. He sees this as an opportunity, despite these troubled times (are they really that troubled?) and is seeking new and exciting opportunities within the city of New York.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Yes, Isaac knows it's been eight months since his last press release. You don't need to tell Isaac how long it's been. This is his life, after all.
Not that there hasn't been any news to report on the Isaac front over these past many months... for time has certainly passed and important things have been happening. Unfortunately for everyone out there, however, most of this news is under strict embargo at the present moment, though if you have verifiable press credentials, an early release early release of certain select stories could probably be negotiated.
That being said, there are a few things which can be mentioned. First, Isaac's dream of being the Pope is still alive. That's not necessarily news, but it's good to remind people of it now and again. Second, the dream of being a professional field goal kicker remains, as well, though training has been somewhat stifled as a resort of the difficulties inherant with the city of New York. Third, some positive information has been received from the Nobel Prize committee for 2009. Fingers Crossed. Finally, there have been rumors about floating around about the possibility of an appearance by Isaac at the 2010 Olympic Games in Vancouver, British Columbia. Isaac has no comment to give at this time, apart from a knowing wink.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Isaac is officially promoted to the position of "Feature Writer" on www.suite101.com. His assigned subject as an FW is "Math/Chaos Theory."
Imposing, yes?
He is excited to see where this opportunity might lead him.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Isaac starts a website. This website, to be specific. In a brief moment of vast egomania, he decides to take the internet by storm. His motto, naturally, is Carpe Diem. Except, instead of siezing the day, he plans on siezing much of the rest of the year, and then he'll see if he feels like siezing anything else of yours. That's his right as an American, because he has a website and lives in New York, which makes him instantly superior to you. Tough to hear, I know... but sometimes love is tough
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Isaac gives up on his book, "100 Days to New York" (see entry for January 9). It got up to about 150 pages when Isaac realized that nothing much happened in that first month. He will, however, try to find as much good material as possible and post it on this site. Really, though, it's mostly alot of rubbish. Things like - "Woke up, tied my shoes. Went for a walk. Central Park sure is nice in the winter..." blah! I'd rather sit and read the Federalist Papers until I die of boredom than dive into any more of that drivel.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Isaac gets a random job in the field of accounting. This is both fortunate and unfortunate. Fortunate because it means that Isaac will probably not become homeless at any point in the near future (a possibility which had been thoroughly accounted for), but unfortunate in that it means he will have to go to work. Every day.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Isaac begins work on a new book. It's temporary title is, "100 Days in New York." He envisions it as a day-by-day introspective look at a foolish young man who moves to New York and experiences New York things while meeting New York people and eating New York foods. It is sure to be a hit with a certain demographic. Which demographic that might be remains to be seen.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Isaac relocates to New York City. When asked why, he shrugs his shoulders. This makes people both frustrated and jealous at the same time. A few people don't know what to do with this emotion and thus find themselves facing severe mental breakdowns.
Yes, I'm talking to you, VP of Editorial Decisions at Random House. That's right, I know you're there.
Why don't you just give me a call, offer me a book deal, and let me start planning my future already. This whole "playing hard to get" thing is very unbecoming of you.