What the Media is Saying About Isaac McPhee
Is it possible to lose money you never even knew you had?
Apparently it is. I read in the Journal today (that's the Wall Street Journal, for those of you who don't follow these sorts of things) that I had apparently been a fairly major shareholder in Bear Sterns as of last week. That's right - the same Bear Sterns that was bought out yesterday by JP Morgan for a whopping $2 a share.
It's a good thing I wasn't aware of this hidden wealth (which is not not-so-hidden poverty), because if I had known of all the money I lost, I would probably be more than a little depressed today.
Anyway, I called my broker to ask him about this (and while I was at it, to find out how the Journal found out about it), and he claimed ignorance.
"Bear Sterns? No, you don't want to invest with them."
"Apparently it's too late. I already am."
"Says who?"
"Says The Journal."
"The Wall Street Journal?"
That's how the conversation went, and by this point, I knew that I wasn't going to get anything out of him. So it remains a mystery, and after all is said and done, nothing in my life has changed. I am still poor, even if for a while I was apparently quite wealthy and never knew it.
Saturday, March 8, 2008
This just in. I have it from a reliable source that the National Enquirer is planning on running an article on me at some point in the coming months. Apparently, one of their "fact checkers" happened to come across a piece I supposedly wrote back in '69 in defense of North Vietnamese Dictator Ho Chi Minh.
Now, I'm only going to say this once, on the record, and that can be the end of it. I never wrote such an article, and should any "alleged" article be brought to light, you can rest assured that it has been fabricated. Now, I don't remember exactly what I was doing in '69, but I certainly wasn't writing letters in praise of North Vietnamese dictators, that's for certain. So before you all start calling me "Hanoi Isaac" or anything like that, keep in mind that this is the Enquirer we're talking about. We have a long and sordid history together, and as such, they are probably not the most reliable source to be getting your news from.
Glad I could get that cleared up.